The monkey to the future

I've been reading a lot of articles in the technology press recently about cyborg pets - chickens with remote petting attachments, squirrels with built in GPS tracking systems, dog tail wag translating systems - it has really been a press feeding frenzy.

What many people don't realise is that none of these ideas are new. The UK government designed pigeon guided missiles during world war two, as well as training rats to throw themselves kamikaze-style into enemy furnaces, where their internally planted explosive would detonate. We can't forget the CIA's attempt to augment cats with internal bugging devices, so that they could listen in on Kremlin secrets. More recently, the US navy has deployed a troop of cybernetically modified seals to attack enemy divers near naval establishments.

We've all been implanting dogs with micro-chips for tracking for many years now. This was the same kind of chip that was implanted in a human guinea pig at a UK university recently. Animals have truly become the original cyber-enhanced entities. It's the next logical step to extend their capabilities further. Think how much more useful a pet could be if it was intelligent enough to call for pizza, cook dinner, or even pick up the kids from school. All it would require is some kind of brain implant to enhance their cognitive processes.

These developments could have profound consequences for mankind's future development. I confidently predict that within 100 years we could completely eliminate the use of underage labour in indonesian sweatshops by replacing the workforce with super intelligent part-cyborg monkeys.

Put your cross here, there and everywhere

Following all the excitement regarding the elections last week, I thought only right that I allowed you all a peek into my own thoughts. Fear not, I'm not about to share with you my particular political views, suffice to say all the important parties, and the Liberal Democrats, should focus more of their manifesto on the advancement of science, and thus mankind. While government money spent on hand outs to the "needy" are all well and good, if the money was spent on research grants we might be able to solve all their needs. Cheap robot nannies to look after toddlers will save money on childcare vouchers. Drugs to delay puberty would greatly cut down teenage pregnancy.

It is this current public focus on politics that has led me to speculate about how governments of the future will operate. Democracy is probably the way things will continue... But the idea of voting for a representative who will make decisions for you may have a limited place in the world of tomorrow. With the forthcoming release of identity cards, electronic voting, and other techno-political implementations, it is surely only a matter of time before you can vote from home on any political decision, as opposed to who stays in a silly dancing competition. Imagine - the houses of parliaments stretching across the whole of the uk. Everyone having a direct say in every discussion.

While this may initially seem like a good idea, it should be fairly obvious that most people don't know or understand the first thing about running a country. So it will only be a matter of time before tests are introduced for people to prove they have the background needed for making informed decisions. For those who don't (and this will be the vast majority of people), I predict that they will only have the option of nominating a recognised authority to vote on their behalf. These people would undoubtedly campaign the receive nominations... and thus, the politicians of the future are born.
An ironic example of how technology will pave the way for progress, which then reverts to a situation remarkably similar to the current way of doing things.